What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is linked to secondary gain. Self-sabotage are actions blocking your success. It is the secondary gain of each self-sabotaging action we take. To reinforce that negative belief or the untruth about us. The mind always wants to be right. (The Rules Of The Mind by Marisa Peer)

If you have a belief that people don't like you or that you are not as smart as others, your actions will mirror this because you will do something where this exact belief is found in your filing cabinet, the subconscious mind. In other words, you will do something where the mind can say: you see, I was right. I am not as smart, people don't like me. It is looking for that false truth to get reaffirmed by you and this is called FALSE FRIEND.

This is a very simple way of explaining. Behind each self-sabotage is a positive intention. It sounds weird but true. Aren’t we here to be successful? Isn’t success that makes us happy? Theoretically, yes. Most people want to be successful, and many people associate success with degrees or possessions.

The role of such belief is either protecting yourself or punishing yourself, and sometimes we have both.  Look I am the victim and there is nothing you can do about it. You can encourage me but my belief about myself is different, and you do not know any of this and what I mean by that is you have no awareness of this all becuase it is hidden in your subconscious mind. But you keep wondering and you keep asking yourself ... Why or What do I need to do?

So, there! You are always right. Great feeling to be right only to find that you were so wrong because you clearly enjoy sabotaging yourself. Wink, wink!

When we self-sabotage, it is often because we have a negative association between achieving the goal we aspire to and the kind of person who has or does that thing. It means that you are not aligned with your goal. When you are not aligned with your goal, it is outside of you AND not deeply felt in your heart. You probably play lip-service to it. There is conflict between your identity and your goal.

The mind cannot hold conflicting beliefs and one cancels out the other. (The rules of the mind by Marisa Peer) The stronger belief will always win – the belief of your superego. When we have an inner conflict, we also need to understand that this causes stress. Stress is poison for our bodies. So many are used to stress that we often do not notice the stress anymore because we will have numbed ourselves.

The mind will always try to take you away from pain leading you towards pleasure. The pleasure then also becomes the pain, and this is a vicious circle. This is often found in addictions, and many are addicted to the self-sabotage because it reinforces what you really think of yourself, you get the dopamine hit and you can stay in your victim mode. What is there not to like?, I am asking a little sarcastically as this is your comfort zone and with no awareness.  But this is the precise circle. It sounds funny and yes, I need you to look at the funny side because this is the silver lining. The silver lining is UNDERSTANDING the process. Without understanding it, you will not be able to do anything about it moving you in the direction of success.

Many people want successful businesses making a lot of money, many people want financial freedom. All about money and yes, you might have excellent reasoning for your wishes and your wishes will be granted but they can only be granted when you stop sabotaging yourself. Money is like oxygen. It allows you to breathe.First, you need to feel worthy of the oxygen. HAve you ever inhaled pure oxygen? I can tell you, it is something else. Refreshing. It means you need to leave the old stuffy life behind. 

Self-sabotage means you are standing in your own way, and this comes from your inner, deepest beliefs. When you have negative beliefs about yourself, those beliefs will always lead you to what you believe. If your belief is that you are a failure, some successful actions will get torn down because the failure in you wins. This is the superego, too. The question is why would you think or believe you are a failure? Early childhood experiences might have led you to that belief. Oftentimes, this is the case. We create or form our beliefs between the age of 5 and 7 years. These become your so-called reality, and these are the untruths, you are telling yourself about yourself over and over again. You will have done it so many times that it has truy become a habit and with that a skill. 

You have experienced success, but you did not think that you were successful and that they were coincidences, and you feel like an imposter because the opinion you have about yourself is rooted deep in your subconscious that becomes your unconscious programming. You build and build and then you tear everything down again because I do not believe that success is for you.

Of course, you do not sit at the table thinking about sabotaging yourself consciously but your beliefs you have about yourself lead to those actions. You trip yourself up. Building your own business? Self-sabotage can be detrimental because you build only to find that you tear everything down again. So, you build again and again, repeating the process. Rinse and repeat.

Indeed, we learn by repetition, and it is time to unlearn what you have learned and whatt you have worked so hard on, and this is the challenging part. 

You want a happy relationship, but you have given up HOPE? Good! Why? It is time that you stop chasing hope because so far the hope you had led you to more suffering. Suffering is part of life and we need to accept it. It is no good to deny it. The secret is to accept your own suffering, understand your own suffering and not to dwell anymore in your own suffering and to become HOPE for yourself and others. Along the way, we need people who show us how to become HOPE and who also came to the consclusion that we are all in charge of our own "suffering" or "happiness"

You are HOPE and you can stop the SUFFERING by understanding your own fears and there is a phobia called philophobia and this means the fear to love again, to become emotionally connected. After some disappointments and traumas, you are very careful because you do not want to be burnt again. The deep belief? I am not worthy of a loving relationship because...? You can complete this sentence for yourself. 

Understand your own self-sabotage and you then can move forward on the road of SUCCESS.